Tuesday, April 23, 2013

4/23/13

I am very excited to be writing my very first blog post on my blog. MY blog <3. I'm surprised I haven't gotten into blogging until now. I honestly wish I would have created a blog before now-my life was pretty exciting last year. I did journal while I lived in Nicaragua but writing with pen and paper takes a lot longer than writing on my Mac & i learned I'm not very patient and don't do too well with commitment... so as the days went by and the entries continuously took hours, I ended up giving up. Ugh the life of a quitter!

But this, I won't give up on. No, not my blog. Not my writing. This one thing has been a constant in my life. The expression of myself through tangible written words is the only thing that hasn't changed about me over the years. I've moved almost 30 times (I had moved 27 times by the time I was 15.). Most people assume I come from a military background but no, that is not the case. I'm a missionary kid who just happened to move all around the world... and I LOVED it! I love change. I love newness. I love beginnings! 

That is probably why I begin a lot of things... but don't always finish them. I am a skilled starter and a passionate creator but not a very persistent partner. Of course, the important things I finish and the commitments I do make I always remain loyal to, it just takes a while for me to find something I am willing to commit to. Probably because I know how loyal I do become and that loyalty scares me a little bit.

As of now my commitment is to college. I guess. 


I love learning. I value education. I even have a 4.0 (but exam week is just around the corner..). And I am committed to getting a degree (in Communications & Journalism, I want to be a writer/journalist ;D ) but so many times I feel like I am simply here by default &  because I am expected to be. 

I want to travel the world! So by staying in Charlotte (where I was born, where I'm familiar with) I feel like I am not reaching my full potential. I feel suppressed, I feel caged. I feel this urge inside of me that I am made for some place bigger than here. I dream of a tomorrow much more glorious than today. I plan for a future far different than the present. And yet, I don't know where that place is, I don't know when that tomorrow will come, and I don't know what that future will hold. 

My dreams drive me, my passion fuels me. My blind optimism eludes me. But my faith, my faith, frees me. The hope that I find in Christ allows me to be content with where I am today. Because, even though I feel like I am made for somewhere else, I know that there is purpose for my present place. And I am reassured this is not my home anyways. I don't belong here, I belong with Christ. But I have purpose here. I'm not sure of that purpose yet--I might never be sure of it. But if I know one thing, I know that God's plan is much better than mine could ever be.

And so I chose to be content in the waiting. Because 'all good things come to those who wait', right? I've been waiting for 19 years--if this saying is not true....